Hi all, Long time no talk. I guess like many I get caught up in life and forget to sit down. I find writing very relaxing, I’ve been told many times I should write a book….. But what would I write about and who the heck would read it?
Today I’m going to talk about self love. I was talking to a friend a few days ago and we were talking about self esteem or lack of it and got around to the question ‘what do you love/like about yourself’? I was totally stumped. I honestly couldn’t come up with one thing that I liked about myself. I felt terrible. Then when I thought about it some more, I couldn’t see why anyone would actually like me, when I don’t like me.
Then i considered it might be something that we would all struggle to answer, so I thought I’d write about it and ask you the same question.
The question was in relation to self esteem and where self esteem comes from. To have a good self esteem one really has to like ones self. It’s a simple enough question, but one that took me literally two days to come up with an answer, but at the time my thinking was limited to physical attributes, not what is within.
Now I know this is a fairly deep and personal post, but I think it’s terribly important to talk about I don’t think any of us value ourselves as much as we should. I think we all live with a level of guilt and question ourselves far too often as to whether we are doing the right thing. I know when I had two kids in school, I was forever questioning whether I should be at home or out working. You were damned if you did and damned if you didn’t. Nowadays I don’t think it’s possible for young families to purchase a home and not have two parents working. So mums out there everywhere will be constantly questioning whether they are doing right or wrong by their children and family, which will in turn possibly lead to low self esteem.
So, what do you like about yourself?
Now if you’re having trouble answering that question don’t panic, just sit and ponder for a while about what is good about you. What characteristics are there within you that help you manage your world and help you work with those around you.
After the conversation with my friend I just couldn’t let go of the thought, I actually went home feeling quite miserable. There had to be at least one thing I liked about myself. So, what do you do in this situation? You ask someone else. In this case I spoke to a very dear friend, who came back saying very nice things about me, which was lovely but not helpful. I needed to find something that I liked about myself . Not learning the first time around I then turned to my eldest daughter and asked her the same question, she laughed at first asking was she helping me with homework of some sort…. She said a few things that got me thinking, then a light came on.
As I said I had been thinking about physical characteristics like my hair, my personality, my laugh…. what I ended up finding that I liked about my self astounded me. I didn’t think I possessed as many attributes that I actually liked about myself and once I had identified these things I felt fantastic.
I found that I liked my sense of humour, I like my common sense approach to life, my ability to keep a cool head in tough situations, my problem solving skills, the fact that I have good instincts and always follow my ‘gut’ feelings, I like that I’m no one’s fool, I call a spade a shovel, I never hold grudges, I’m not argumentative, I’m honest to a fault, faithful, loyal and I’m easy to get along with, I am a strong woman and have coped with many of life’s ups and downs and survived. I survived a stage 4 cancer against the odds and somehow I’ve managed (with Darren’s help) to raise two beautiful, independent women to boot.
As I said, originally I had thought I needed to find something i loved or like that was physical but that’s not the case, mind you after losing my hair through chemotherapy a million years ago, when my hair grew back it grew back with a nice wave in it instead of the unruly frizz that it used to be, so now it always sits nicely, and also now I’ve decided to stop colouring my hair the greys that are coming through look like I’ve had them put there. So I guess if I had to pick a physical aspect I would say my hair. Prior to chemo I had longer hair that had totally uncontrollable curls. In fact people used to have perms to make their hair curly like mine. I used to go and get it straightened. Now, I’m happy with it just the way it is.
Anyway I’ve digressed. What do you like about yourself? Think about this for a while, it took me two whole days….lol but I think it is a very positive exercise, I personally felt a lot stronger and felt more valuable once I had pointed out my good qualities to myself and I hope it does the same for you.
Thanks for reading my blog, I’ll be back later to talk about something else that’s caught my attention.
Bye for now